Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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