shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize