I can't watch pbs sober anymore
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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