Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He shit in the fireplace
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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