The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My liver just had a heart attack.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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