Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
