U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
