That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize