I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
