I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Randomize
