they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize