Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize