I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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