Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize