he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize