Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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