apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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