The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
