I looked at my own cervix.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
