wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
