Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
