I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize