how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
