In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
