just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
