why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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