I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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