And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
