So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
