i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
