He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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