I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize