If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
