I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
