He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
