she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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