I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
