Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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