Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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