I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so that wasnt chicken after all
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
