Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
