Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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