I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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