You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
