They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
