Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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