Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
