Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
pray to the hookup gods
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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