I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Two words: blizzard sex
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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