Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
