hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
