we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
