I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
