If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
