His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
