Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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