Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
