Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
