please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
