Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
