Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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