he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
