dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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