so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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