Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
