I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
