piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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