I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
