No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
