I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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