we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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