to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
