Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
