He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
