How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize